Do you ever wonder why it is so hard for young children to play nicely together? The moment a child wants something the other has or the other wants trouble begins!
During an observation I did while at an early childhood classroom I watched a familiar scenario play out between two little boys. We will call the first little boy “Bo” and second little boy “Roy” for the sake of this article. However, these are not their real names.
Bo was playing with Legos. He had dumped out a big bucket of them right in front of him. He was playing happily with the Legos until Roy walked over. All Roy did was look with his eyes at the pile. Bo instinctively wrapped his arms and body around he pile of Legos as best he could so that Roy would not be able to take any.
I think it is safe to say that most parents and early childhood educators have seen this scenario before!
I thought to myself “Bo really does not want to share. What a shame as there are plenty for both boys to use!” Then I thought it about more. I asked myself why would Bo be so overly concerned about sharing when clearly he could never use up all those pieces?
I could see in Bo’s face that he was worried his teachers would tell him to share. His teacher came over and told Bo that he could pick out the 20 pieces he wanted since he was working on it first and then Roy can pick out his. Bo seemed to be relieved by this solution. It clearly never occurred to Bo to share in such a way. This makes me wonder- what does he think sharing is? By his presentation of behaviors it looked like he thought sharing meant to give the toy away to someone else.
In some circumstances giving the entire toy over to someone else might be a reasonable way to share. But how do kids know which way to share is the best? Are we, as parents and teachers, teaching this to our children? From all of my experiences in classrooms, in homes, and working with children I have to conclude that we are not. We may think we are but we are not doing it well.
Too many times our little toddlers and preschoolers are put into situations where two people want to play with the same things. They have a very hard time problem-solving that situation out. Yes, part of that is developmental abilities and practice, but no one can debate that children learn best from modeling. Are we really teaching these kids the best way we can to know how to share?
If you ponder on that question than you will want to join me in my upcoming teleseminar training “Child’s Play, Can’t We All Get Along”. This training is part of my two part teleseminar series, “How To Get Kids To Play Nice”.
In this training you will:
You can learn more about this training here.
Please leave me a comment on your thoughts about sharing. Also, feel free to share this article! You can share on your social media or even re-publish it on your blog as long as you reference my site.
During an observation I did while at an early childhood classroom I watched a familiar scenario play out between two little boys. We will call the first little boy “Bo” and second little boy “Roy” for the sake of this article. However, these are not their real names.
Bo was playing with Legos. He had dumped out a big bucket of them right in front of him. He was playing happily with the Legos until Roy walked over. All Roy did was look with his eyes at the pile. Bo instinctively wrapped his arms and body around he pile of Legos as best he could so that Roy would not be able to take any.
I think it is safe to say that most parents and early childhood educators have seen this scenario before!
I thought to myself “Bo really does not want to share. What a shame as there are plenty for both boys to use!” Then I thought it about more. I asked myself why would Bo be so overly concerned about sharing when clearly he could never use up all those pieces?
I could see in Bo’s face that he was worried his teachers would tell him to share. His teacher came over and told Bo that he could pick out the 20 pieces he wanted since he was working on it first and then Roy can pick out his. Bo seemed to be relieved by this solution. It clearly never occurred to Bo to share in such a way. This makes me wonder- what does he think sharing is? By his presentation of behaviors it looked like he thought sharing meant to give the toy away to someone else.
In some circumstances giving the entire toy over to someone else might be a reasonable way to share. But how do kids know which way to share is the best? Are we, as parents and teachers, teaching this to our children? From all of my experiences in classrooms, in homes, and working with children I have to conclude that we are not. We may think we are but we are not doing it well.
Too many times our little toddlers and preschoolers are put into situations where two people want to play with the same things. They have a very hard time problem-solving that situation out. Yes, part of that is developmental abilities and practice, but no one can debate that children learn best from modeling. Are we really teaching these kids the best way we can to know how to share?
If you ponder on that question than you will want to join me in my upcoming teleseminar training “Child’s Play, Can’t We All Get Along”. This training is part of my two part teleseminar series, “How To Get Kids To Play Nice”.
In this training you will:
- Know how to teach your children to share and take turns effectively
- Gain skills in stopping the grabbing, pushing, and hoarding of toys
- Change your child’s mindset of “If I see it, it is mine!”
- Be able to handle social issues in many different settings with your kids (such as sharing in public, on play dates, etc.)
- Early Childhood Educators earn training hours in the category of Guiding and Interacting with Children.
You can learn more about this training here.
Please leave me a comment on your thoughts about sharing. Also, feel free to share this article! You can share on your social media or even re-publish it on your blog as long as you reference my site.