Do you believe bullies are children with low self-esteems? Do you think they are unhappy so they take it out on others? If you do you may be misguided.
It is true that unhappy people may try to bring others down, but that is not why all bullying occurs. In fact the exact opposite sometimes occurs.
There are lots of children who have high self-esteems and think a lot of themselves, and yet they still “bully” other children.
You see many bully incidents occur because kids don’t realize their own impact on others. Children are developmentally self-absorbed and really only think of how things effect themselves. On top of that, children are also not learning about empathy like past generations have.
It makes sense if you think about what the media reports. Whenever there is a tragedy of a child who did a drastic thing because they felt bullied, the identified “bully” always says something like, “I did not realize what I said or what I did impacted him so much.”
Today’s children do not have as much opportunity to see another’s reaction because they are generally communicating via technology. This lessens the exposure to seeing facial expressions, body language, etc. The lack of physical contact can easily create a child who does not instinctively think about how their actions have impacted others. It is hard to see yourself as being mean if you don’t think about what you say or do.
Many families nurture their children in such a way that the kids believe they are great regardless of what they do. I am all for a parent’s unconditional love, but a child can confuse this. The child may say or do something hurtful to someone else, not think much about how it effected that person, and still walk away believing that they can do no wrong.
Bullying is not reserved for just the unhappy delinquents out there; it is also not reserved for the popular kids who are really unhappy inside but don’t want the world to know.
A big reason bullying exists is because children are not being taught the value of respecting others and being aware of the impact they can have on others. Bullying occurs because children do not know how to manage their anger. It occurs because children are not being taught the skills to read each other’s cues, and to then to show compassion.
We need to teach our children from as early as three-years-old how they impact the world around them. We need to teach them to have empathy, and be respectful. This is why I have put together curriculum to teach this very important information to caregivers. Specifically, I have put together a training for camp counselors on how to create an emotionally safe environment for their campers. After all, camp counselors are typically teenagers and young adults, and they also struggle with these issues. They need the guidance to create an atmosphere where bullying will never begin.
My Prevent Bullying at Camp DVD includes a full keynote presentation and my personal voice-over of in depth explanations, tips, and stories. You can learn more about this DVD here.
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