With the start of school there are many changes happening in lots of households and classrooms, including my own.
My son started first grade last week and my daughter starts kindergarten this week- two big milestones in their lives (and mine)! I have so many different emotions about these changes. Most are positive, but I also have some apprehensions.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Any parent can understand the roller coaster of emotions it is to have your children be in full day school for the first time. I am excited for more time to get things done but I am sad I will not be part of their day, etc.
My office manager, Chelsea (who many of you know), is sending her son off to preschool for the first time as well. She and I have discussed our joys and worries with these changes in our lives.
It seems so obvious why she and I would have some difficulties with such changes. So let me ask you this question: Why do we get frustrated with our children when they put up a stink about changes in their lives? Why do we act shocked when they present with some behaviors and resistance to transitions and change? Don’t they have the right to have mixed emotions about new situations too?
Too often we analyze our children’s behaviors as “giving us a hard time.” We might be more patient with our children for the bigger changes like starting a new school year off, starting childcare etc. What about the littler ones?
They may seem little to us, but are they little to our children? Their lives resolve around themselves, so even the tiniest thing seems huge to them because it is all they think about.
Children do not have as many experiences to compare, contrast and imagine what the new thing will be like. The unknown can be pretty scary! This is why they have more times that they may drag their feet for change and newness.
Children thrive on predictability and routine and when change occurs that all goes out the window. To a child, change equates unknown and scary.
Yes, our children may have some positive thoughts about the change as well. But, that does not diminish the other feelings. I understand this now as I am proud of my children for how grown up they have become. I am excited for their new adventures, but I will miss them. I will worry about how they handle social situations. I will be sad that I am not teaching their learning moments to them. I will be concerned about their safety. I am hopeful that the academics will be challenging enough but not too much that my children struggle.
You see, it is actually normal to have mixed emotions about newness, and we have to realize this for our children. I see many adults tell children the positive spin on things with out allowing the child to process the negative feelings. Of course we need to point out the good, but the bad is just as normal.
We have to teach them that feeling more than one thing is normal and OK. The mixed emotions can be confusing to children. Let’s show our kids that you can feel lots of things about change and it is OK! Let’s teach our children that the mixed feelings are not a message to avoid the new, but rather a message to experience the new fully.
As your children go through their many transitions support them by understanding the roller coaster of emotions and normalizing it for them.
Wishing you all as easy of transitions as possible for you and your children!
-Jill
My son started first grade last week and my daughter starts kindergarten this week- two big milestones in their lives (and mine)! I have so many different emotions about these changes. Most are positive, but I also have some apprehensions.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Any parent can understand the roller coaster of emotions it is to have your children be in full day school for the first time. I am excited for more time to get things done but I am sad I will not be part of their day, etc.
My office manager, Chelsea (who many of you know), is sending her son off to preschool for the first time as well. She and I have discussed our joys and worries with these changes in our lives.
It seems so obvious why she and I would have some difficulties with such changes. So let me ask you this question: Why do we get frustrated with our children when they put up a stink about changes in their lives? Why do we act shocked when they present with some behaviors and resistance to transitions and change? Don’t they have the right to have mixed emotions about new situations too?
Too often we analyze our children’s behaviors as “giving us a hard time.” We might be more patient with our children for the bigger changes like starting a new school year off, starting childcare etc. What about the littler ones?
They may seem little to us, but are they little to our children? Their lives resolve around themselves, so even the tiniest thing seems huge to them because it is all they think about.
Children do not have as many experiences to compare, contrast and imagine what the new thing will be like. The unknown can be pretty scary! This is why they have more times that they may drag their feet for change and newness.
Children thrive on predictability and routine and when change occurs that all goes out the window. To a child, change equates unknown and scary.
Yes, our children may have some positive thoughts about the change as well. But, that does not diminish the other feelings. I understand this now as I am proud of my children for how grown up they have become. I am excited for their new adventures, but I will miss them. I will worry about how they handle social situations. I will be sad that I am not teaching their learning moments to them. I will be concerned about their safety. I am hopeful that the academics will be challenging enough but not too much that my children struggle.
You see, it is actually normal to have mixed emotions about newness, and we have to realize this for our children. I see many adults tell children the positive spin on things with out allowing the child to process the negative feelings. Of course we need to point out the good, but the bad is just as normal.
We have to teach them that feeling more than one thing is normal and OK. The mixed emotions can be confusing to children. Let’s show our kids that you can feel lots of things about change and it is OK! Let’s teach our children that the mixed feelings are not a message to avoid the new, but rather a message to experience the new fully.
As your children go through their many transitions support them by understanding the roller coaster of emotions and normalizing it for them.
Wishing you all as easy of transitions as possible for you and your children!
-Jill