Filtering out the good advice from the bad
I remember when I had my first baby and I was learning how to feed him. I had several nurses for different shifts and lactation consultants telling me how to do it, but they all told me different things.
The more I thought about my experience I realized that so many of the families I had worked with in the past in Early Intervention and other settings had likely been told “how” to do it right about many things from many people. Most if which is contradicting.
As my children grew older I found that I would get ton of advice some solicited and some not so much. There are so many ways to do things, so many ways to parent, so many variables with who the child is etc. It can all be so overwhelming!
Now that I am practicing independently with coaching, teaching and training parents and teachers, I am very in tuned to individual circumstances and children. I try hard to help parents and teachers figure out which is the best way for their child.
I cannot tell you how many times I have had early childhood teachers tell me that they learned to deal with a behavior this way and I am suggesting another. They get frustrated and confused on what to do. At that point I remind them that they are meeting with me because what they have been doing has not been working for them. I also explain that there are many ways to do things and each of us have to make conscious decisions rather than “drink the Kool Aid” because we were told to.
It is not easy to figure out how to do this. Here are 3 important tips on how to figure out what the best way is in your situation:
- 1. Educate yourself. You cannot make an educated decision with out getting some data. Find out what is developmentally appropriate for your child. Find out what theories are out there on your issue, but do not believe what you read or hear is the way you should do it. Fill your mind with knowledge and then see which way makes the most sense to you in your situation.
- 2. Understand your child. Behavior is communication. So, if your trying to change a behavior you need to listen to what the child is telling you through his or her actions. There is not one right way to stop things like biting or hitting because different children may be doing it for different reasons. You need to address the reason to get through to the child. Each child has a different learning style as well. You need to get to know how they learn, listen and operate in order to effectively make decisions on what is right for your child.
- 3. Find a Guru. Well maybe not an actual guru but someone who seems to see things similar to how you see them. Perhaps it is a blogger, a therapist, a coach etc. When there is so much noise out there about what is the right way to do things, it can be hard to filter out what makes sense to you. Eventually you will stumble upon someone who gets your mindset, gets your child, understands your life situation, and speaks to you in way that you enjoy listening. I am not saying that you should do everything that person recommends, but start with that person’s book, article, lecture, training etc. Apply what works for you and seek more education on the areas you need.
I have been training, educating and coaching parents and teachers for many years, and have been doing it at my practice Nurturing Parents and Teachers for 6 years. I believe in my work and know I have helped many. However, I am just one voice, so I have decided to do a teleseminar workshop series with co-trainers.
I have teamed up with some of the most brilliant and experienced professionals in the early childhood field. I will be inviting them to speak with me live on my teleseminar trainings in late March and April of 2014. Participants will be able to hear two perspectives and tips on issues such as picky eaters, executive functioning, stress management, teaching empathy, and so much more.
This series of teleseminars is going to be a lot of fun and filled with tons of great information. If your interested in learning more about these co-run teleseminars you can do so by clicking here.